Vol XII

Chaotic Consequences Averted

Myrinathians rejoiced Saturday when a band of heroes saved the city from utter destruction at the fiendish hands of the evil gnome, Doctor Chaotica . Officials were panicking Friday night, not having been able to raise the funds to pay Chaotica’s ransom, and the mayor’s team had to come up with another plan. They used the funds they had raised to hire Jupiter’s Justice, the most amazing band of heroes west of the Magnum. Led by the twins Clement and Penelope (Jovian cleric and paladin respectively) the all-star Jupiter’s Justice crew includes mighty Heracles , wily Atalanta , sagacious Merlin , and persuasive Orpheus . Together these heroes vanquished the dastardly demons and thwarted Chaotica’s revenge.

Jupiter’s Justice being honored by mayor.

The city guard cleared Memorial Park late Friday night. Around 11 am on Saturday, mists gathered around the bench. A moment later, a screaming stream of misshapen monstrosities poured from the mists in all directions. Jupiter’s Justice stepped from their strategic positions and engaged the demons! Heracles tossed demons back into the swirling mists, sometimes two at a time. None could withstand Penelope as she and her valiant steed Bellerophon

ran down the monsters. Atalanta and Merlin hurled arrows and spells while Orpheus orchestrated the plan and Clement kept everyone alive. It all seemed to be over, but suddenly an enormous demonic insect flew from the dissipating mists followed closely by a giant deformed bird-like creature . The drone of the insect knocked Penelope and Orpheus out of the battle, then the bird stunned Heracles with an earsplitting screech. Clement rallied Atalanta and Merlin, and together they chased the baleful beasts out of the city.

Officials searching the park after the battle found the blood-drained corpses of an elf and a gnome on the bench. Chaotica and his unwilling mentor Vocare are almost certainly dead! Thank you, Jupiter’s Justice!

Sewer System Experiences Minor Issue

Low flowing effluent

A minor problem has arisen in the Myrinath sewer system , causing a slight inconvenience for the city. The issue appears to be a clog in one of the pipes, leading to slower wastewater flow in affected areas. A team has been dispatched to investigate and address the problem promptly. While the issue is minor, it serves as a reminder of the importance of regular maintenance and upkeep of our municipal sewer systems.

Residents in the affected area are advised to be mindful of what they put down their drains and toilets to avoid exacerbating the clog. It’s essential to report any issues noticed promptly to prevent larger problems from developing.

Despite the minor inconvenience, the city’s sewer system remains a vital piece of infrastructure that helps maintain the cleanliness and hygiene of our community. City officials are confident that they will resolve the issue soon, and normal flow will be restored to the affected area.

Bogus Benefactor Bilks Bystanders

The Mirror is sorry to report that the charity organized by Fauna Torquatus in the last edition was fraudulent. The con was run by a gang of doppelganers led by a Succubus impersonating Torquatus. More than half of the funds have been recovered. The real Fauna Torquatus could not be reached for comment.

The Mirror would like to reiterate its commitment to honest journalism and to bringing truth and transparency to our readers. We apologize to all those who have been affected by this fraudulent scam and urge our readers to be vigilant and careful when contributing to charitable causes in the future.